you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
