i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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