Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
