so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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