You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
