I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can I color on your dick again?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
