There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
