both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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