We're facebook friends in real life
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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