Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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