why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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