if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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