Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
