Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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