Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You made out with two different species that night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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