I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
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Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
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If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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