omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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