i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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