hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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