Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
