I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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