You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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