Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
