We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
