I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
