i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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