I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
