Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
