Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
