What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
