Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize