dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize