if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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