Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
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Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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