i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
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I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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