Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
