is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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