no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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