Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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