I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
