i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
