People in love make me want to vomit
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
