god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
