He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
