Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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