New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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