my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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