AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sext me about skeletons
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
