I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
