girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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