no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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