do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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