She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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