I hate your face
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
