That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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