He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
