Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
