1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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